Sex and the University ~ the blog

"Having a pump is like having sex. I train two, sometimes three times a day. Each time I get a pump. It's great. I feel like I'm coming all day."

illustration for Redlight by Georgie

I remember discovering this position for the first time on a hot summer day in high school. While I should have been in Math class, my nervous teenage boyfriend clumsily tried to convince me that this was the only way we could do “it” in the tiny back seat of his Irok-Z. Now, if marijuana is considered to be the gateway drug, then perhaps it can be said that “Doggy style” is the gateway sex position, opening up a world of possibilities and exploration. As a budding sex kitten, I decided to say my farewell to missionary position, and took an inaugural step into the world of kinky sex. As I bent over with forearms on the leather interior, I presented him with two very clear choices. Perhaps that is one reason why this classic is still a favorite.

Let us take a closer look at Doggy style...a.k.a. Union of the cow, Levrette, Pecorina. Coitus more ferarum (sex in the manner of beasts). You know the drill. She bends over on all fours, and he puts his Tab A into her Slot B from behind. This positioning provides sturdy, deep, tight penetration, as well as great G-spot stimulation (no the G-spot is not a myth people!) and plenty of control. Some consider the woman to be in a submissive position, but this is not so. Any confident woman can take great command of this position by lifting her knees up a little (think Yoga pose “Downward Facing Dog”) and shifting the weight to her legs. The woman has great control of motion, and can use as little or as much gusto as she prefers, taking rhythm and depth into her own, um… hands. While she’s happily busy, the man has two free hands for which the possibilities are endless. In the style of “Milking the Cow”, one hand is used to squeeze her breasts together while the other is used to stimulate her clitoris. The woman can also reach through her legs, and stimulate him by massaging his testicles, or playing with his perineum (the small region between the testicles and the anus). If SHE is more adventurous, one hand can be used to stimulate her anus which if done properly (i.e. gently, and at her discretion) is very sexy and stimulating. For increased depth, try The Dog with the man standing up, and the woman bent over touching the floor in front of him. And finally, let’s not forget about Slot C! All variations of the Dog can also be taken to a new plateau by changing up the point of entrance. Ultimately, either party can gain control of this versatile position, and the variations are limitless.

So as we prepare for another hectic school year, lets remember those easy breezy dog days of summer, and pay homage to this tried and true favorite "gateway" position. Reinvent it, make it yours, and let me know how you like it.

Thanks,

Eve Z

(Traditional version)

Difficulty: 2/5

Tightness: 3/5

G spot stimulation: 3/5

Clitoral stimulation: 1/5

Turn Ons: brunettes, no make-up (i.e. natural beauty), smarts, modesty, petite

Turn Offs: fake tans, double D's, anyone who looks like Pamela Anderson &/or Britney Spears, poor taste in music

Fav. Sexual Position: Doggy

Fantasy/Fetish: doing it "risky business" movie style

Famous Person to do it with: Sophie Marseau

Horoscope Sign: Sagitarius Chinese Sign: Rooster

About me: smoker, sorta religious, Croatian

Derick

Turn Ons: erotic movies

Turn Offs: unkind/ugly people

Fav. Sexual Position: lying face-down

Fantasy/Fetish: group sex

Famous Person to do it with: Brad

Horoscope Sign: Gemini Chinese Sign:Sheep

About me: homosexual, lots of allergies (i.e chocolate), versatile but prefer bottom

Marisa

Turn Ons: glasses, literacy, eloquence, zeal

Turn Offs: Stilt walking, Self pitying, unibrowed types

Fav. Sexual Position: flying above, tumbling through clowds in sublime sexual union

Fantasy/Fetish: clowns

Famous Person to do it with: James Joyce in his twenties

Horoscope Sign: Gemini Chinese Sign:Tiger

About me: I will serenade you, all the time. I sing badly.

Aaron

Turn ons: Tummies, backs, bellybuttons, short black hair, sweat, light eyes, Eastern Europeen accents, small well shaped boobs, big well shaped boobs

Turn offs: girls with a "great" personality, hair anywhere but head, floppy boobs, big bums, really big legs, Gunts!!

Fav. sexual position: girl on top facing away, girl on couch, kneeling over back, me behind, fun!

Fantasy\Fetish: all fantasies have been satisfied (up to 5 ways that is)

Famous person to do it with: Mandy Moore with short black hair, or Angelina Jolie but only in "Hackers" (short hair)

Horoscope Sign: pisces Chinese Sign: Boar

About me: You're on a "need to know" basis

Mandy

Turn-Ons: brains, backs, accents, hip curvature, quirkiness, teardrop-shaped breast

Turn-Offs: stupidity, BO, jocks, "bacne", cheesy pillow talk, saggy testicles, fat.

Fav. Sexual Position: queen riding horseback (on top facing away version)

Fantasy/Fetish: using a strap-on on him, sticky sex inside a pumpkin

Famous Person to do it with: Johnny Depp/ Fairuza Balk

Horoscope Sign: Libra
Chinese Sign: Rooster

About Me: I "sing and dance" in front of my mirror when he's not home

Giorgio

Turn-ons: intelligence
Turn offs: ditziness

Favourite Sexual Position: depends on the situation

Fantasy/Fetish: to be discovered

Famous Person to do it with: Scarlett Johansson; Winona Ryder

Sign: Gemini
Chinese Sign: The most vicious rabbit you have ever seen

About me: everybody loves an italian boy.

Paul

Turn-ons: nice butt, geeks (or affinity for them), boundless energy.
Turn-offs: ditziness, whining, yelling an ex's name in bed, clinginess.

Fav. Sexual Position: girl on top, doggy style.
Fantasy/Fetish: Light bondage? Sure. School girls? Can be fun. Feet? ehhh .... dunno. Unicorns? No.

Famous Person to do it with: Jennifer Connelly

Horoscope Sign: Virgo Chinese Sign: Pig

About me: computer game addict and geek extraordinaire...love it or hate it kind of thing.

WBAM FM Chicago - Mate Match


On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match." The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers yes, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.

The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.

One particular game, however, several months ago made the City of Big Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing I've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down:

DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"

Contestant: (laughing) "Yes I have."

DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando,Florida if you win. What is your name? First only please."

Contestant: "Brian."

DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"

Brian: "Yes."

DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"

Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."



DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."

Brian: "Sara."

DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"

Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"

Brian: (laughing) Yes, she's at work."

DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"

Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"

Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."


DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."

DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"

Brian: "About 10 minutes."

DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."

Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."

DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?"

Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."

DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"

Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her Mom is staying for a couple of weeks..."

DJ: "Uh huh..."

Brian: "...and the Mother-in-law was in the shower at the Time."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: "On the kitchen table."

DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this. (3 minutes of commercials follow.)

DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?" (touch tones ringing)

Clerk: "Kinkos."

DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"

Clerk: "This is she."

DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with

Brian for a couple of hours now."

Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"

DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo...do you know the rules of 'Mate match'?"

Sarah: "No."

DJ: "Good!"

Brian: (laughing)

Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"

Brian (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest."

DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to Orlando, Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World. Sea World. Tickets to the Magic's game. The whole deal. Get it Sarah?"

Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "All right. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"

Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."

DJ: "What time?"

Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."

DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"

Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."

DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to Florida. Are you ready?"

Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Where did you have it?"

Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"

Brian: "Just tell him, honey."

DJ: "What is bothering you so much,Sarah?"

Sarah: "Well, it's just that my Mom is vacationing with us and..."

DJ: "She saw?"


Sarah: "BRIAN?!"

Brian: "No, no I didn't..."

DJ: "Ease up there, sister. Just messing' with your head. Your answer, please?"

Sara: "Dear Lord...I cannot believe you told them this."

Brian: "Come on, honey, it's for a free trip to Florida."

DJ: "Let's go, sister. We ain't got all day here. Where did you do it?"

Sarah: (short pause) "In the ass."
(long, long pause)


DJ: "We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors."

We have no idea who this woman is, but she does understand one thing very good. If you want to make an impression on television, you have to get the attention of the people who hold the remote control. And who is generally the one with that thing? Right, a man. And how do you get attention from men?rrrright..

The McGill Sex Magazine

coming soon...

Heads up, you could be sitting beside the next bunny


About 60 McGill students stripped down to their skivvies and birthday suits this week, vying for the opportunity to appear in a special issue of Playboy. The legendary men's magazine was in Montreal last week casting for its "Girls of the Top 10 Party Schools" spread.

Playboy recently ranked McGill tenth on its annual list.Auditions were held at a hotel on Sherbrooke over three days. After filling out forms asking for information ranging from measurements to hobbies, potential playmates were taken into a bedroom suite where they were asked to remove as much clothing as they were comfortable with.

Each woman then posed for a handful of Polaroid pictures.Some ladies donned lingerie, while others went completely nude, perhaps taking to heart the words of David Rams, a photographer who has been on the Playboy masthead for about 10 years."We probably won't pick you if you don't take your top off," he said with a smile as a surprisingly demure set of applicants completed paperwork.

"Why show up for a Playboy casting if you're not going to take your clothes off?" Gen Friesen, who said she attended casting to "break the mould of chemistry students," posed topless."I'm a bit of an exhibitionist, [so] I was comfortable being nude," said Friesen, U2 Chemistry, adding that she decided to try out after friends encouraged her. Most applicants described the shoot as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. "A lot of girls do it so that they can look back and say, 'I was hot before I had kids,'" said Eden Orfanos, producer of the shoot.

The girls were picked to represent McGill's party-school title. According to a statement released by Playboy the list was determined by editorial staff, who considered aspects of the campus social scene such as proximity to off-campus entertainment, general vibrancy, social opportunities and male-to-female ratio.McGill officials were not pleased with the ranking."This is clearly a promotional or marketing gimmick," said Jennifer Robinson, associate vice-principal communications. "It is not credible and not appreciated."Robinson said she found it unfortunate that the magazine is using McGill's name.

"We are known for very high-quality students, professors and research," she said. "This is the first time that we have ever been ranked in something like this."Theresa Hennessey, publicity manager at Playboy, said that being featured as a top-10 party school does not detract from a university's image nor trivialize its academic merits."I don't think it tarnishes the university's image at all," Hennessey said. "We're not saying that it isn't a great place to get an education. [Rather], it is also a great place to have a social college experience."Hennessey said that Playboy hasn't received any complaints from other schools in the ranking, which also includes University of California at Santa Barbara and Florida State University. Though McGill may take issue with its appearance on the list, Playboy is not violating university policy by recruiting local students."We don't do anything on campus," Hennessey said.

"We make it clear that we are not affiliated with the universities." Students, campus groups ambivalentIn all, six McGill students were selected to pose for the magazine. They were photographed over three days in different settings, the primary location being a loft owned by a McGill PhD student. Madison Chi, U2 Anatomy and Cell Biology, posed for the magazine after attending the casting call with her roommate. She asked that the Tribune use a pseudonym.
Chi said she was surprised that she had been selected."You picture these magazines as featuring only the skinniest girls with the biggest breasts," she said. "But then my roommate called from her photo shoot and said they wanted me to come in and pose."Though Chi felt slightly awkward "getting into it," her overall impressions of the experience were positive."It was really laidback and relaxed," Chi said of the shoot. "They looked us in the eye while talking [to us], even though we were in lingerie."

The reaction of campus groups was subdued. Liberated Bodies, a club that promotes healthy body image, did not applaud or condone the recent recruitment."We do not want to dictate what others should find liberating or oppressive," the club said in a statement. "We also respect the decisions of the women who chose what was right for themselves when posing for Playboy."The Union for Gender Empowerment was unavailable for comment. (Liz Allmang, McGill Tribune)

The "Girls of the Top 10 Party Schools" issue of Playboy hit newsstands on April 7. It's not too late to bare all for Playboy. Check out www.playboy.com/on-campus/collegecastings.

The girl on the left is Alexandra Kosteniuk. She is currently considered the greatest female chess player on the planet. Last time we looked her FIDE rating was well over 2500, and she is a Grandmaster in both female and male lists (however that stuff works). If you were to compare the way she looks with some of her chess playing colleagues (see below; world's no.2 Peter Leko) you would understand why Alexandra is the ultimate chess darling of geekdom, and if you played chess against her she'd KICK Your Ass. Her talent has given her the opportunity to travel the world, and in certain circles she's become quite the celebrity. The girl on the right is just ass and her talent has given her cars, houses, plane tickets, movie roles, jewelry etc. Happy Friday!

Gamblers, it's said, will bet on anything, such as which raindrop will slide down widow glass first.You never hear someone say whether or not team X will beat team Y, it's always, "I think they'll cover the spread."Now, some enterprising Internet sports books have come up with a new twist on the sport of girl watching.These guys are taking bets on which female celebrity will be the next to have a "wardrobe malfunction," as happened to Janet Jackson. They however are posting odds and taking bets on who will have the next, as they are calling it, nipple slip.I, as I'm sure others do, often wonder just how "accidental" these events are.Many years ago when I read "Playboy," they had an amusing and informative Q&A section, to which a neophyte asked the question:"If I'm with a woman, and her clothing is revealing, should I, or should I not, look at what is showing?"The response was: "Take a look, because a woman always knows, and has control over what is showing."

Chocolate is rich dark and satisfying
You are never disappointed when you open the wrapper
Chocolate doesn't care how many you have eaten before
Chocolate always hits the spot
Chocolate doesn't secretly want to be eaten by your best friend
Chocolate doesn't think shopping chanel is stupid
Chocolate always smells good
Chocolate won't ask "Am I the best?" or "How was it?"
It doesn't sulk if you don't want it first thing in the morning
Chocolates are easy to pick up
Chocolate satisfies even when soft
You can suck on chocolate in front of Mom
Chocolate never leaves a bad taste in your mouth
Chocolate never minds what time of the month it is
You don't mind brown stains left by chocolate
With chocolate, size doesn't matter, it's always good
Chocolates do not wear white socks
Chocolate doesn't mind when you crunch the nuts
With chocolate you don't have to pretend you've never eaten one before
"If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate
You can have more than one a night without ruining your reputation
Chocolate doesn't just think it's smooth
Chocolates aren't into rope or leather
You can tell just by looking at it, it hasn't been in anyone else's mouth
Hard chocolate is easy to find
and...
Great Chocolates are always available.

my first RedLight Article

Joan Roughgarden, a transgendered professor of biology at Stanford University(is it only us or does Stanford gets all the interesting profs?? ed.), has penned a fascinating-sounding book on the evolutionary role of homosexuality called Evolution's Rainbow. Roughgarden's theories center on explaining why, if homosexuality is a genetic aberration, it hasn't been bred out of all species -- instead, homosexual coupling is more the norm than the aberration when it comes to most animals. As she says, "a 'common genetic disease' is a contradiction in terms, and homosexuality is three to four orders of magnitude more common than true genetic diseases such as Huntington's disease."

In some positions, a female macaque will rub her clitoris against her partner's back, deriving sexual pleasure.
Japanese macaques, an old world primate, illustrate this principle perfectly. Macaque society revolves around females, who form intricate dominance hierarchies within a given group. Males are transient. To help maintain the necessary social networks, female macaques engage in rampant lesbianism. These friendly copulations, which can last up to four days, form the bedrock of macaque society, preventing unnecessary violence and aggression. Females that sleep together will even defend each other from the unwanted advances of male macaques. In fact, behavioral scientist Paul Vasey has found that females will choose to mate with another female, as opposed to a horny male, 92.5% of the time. While this lesbianism probably decreases reproductive success for macaques in the short term, in the long run it is clearly beneficial for the species, since it fosters social stability. "Same-sex sexuality is just another way of maintaining physical intimacy," Roughgarden says. "It's like grooming, except we have lots of pleasure neurons in our genitals. When animals exhibit homosexual behavior, they are just using their genitals for a socially significant purpose."

The Rapex rape prevention device has been delayed until late this year. As you may remember, the gadget goes inside of a woman and clamps down on a rapist’s penis to force him into getting medical attention, which in turn will alert the authorities that he is a rapist (or the victim of a horrible practical joke).
The project has been greeted with enthusiasm as well as scepticism. One of those critical of the device is Charlene Smith, a rape survivor, journalist and activist on women’s issues. She says she believes the device will increase the risk of victims being killed.
Perhaps they’re using the extra time to perfect the device so that accidental clampage when a woman forgets to remove it won’t cause undue pain to some poor husband. Either that, or they’re adding more spikes. – Jason Chen


This article brought up the thought of cats reproducing, but reversed. The male cat's penis has spines which point backwards. Upon withdrawal of the penis, the spines rake the walls of the female's vagina. Of course, in cats, it's natural and necessary for ovulation. Nevertheless, guys now know what goes through a woman's mind when thinking of cats having sex.