Showing posts with label Woody Allen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Woody Allen. Show all posts

On Saturdays- Thou Shalt Rest

my perfect saturday-
9.oo: wake up. If in good mood, sing in shower and dance like no one’s watching
9.3o: healthy light breakfast, including proteins; whatever muscles I have are in for a party today. Coffee + newspapers + smart mag
11.oo: morning jog with iPod newly filled with songs from last night’s dance-til-I-dropped. Mmmm le(s) beau(x) mec(s) de hier soir = hotter than Dominican Republic in august. Run faster.
11.45: quick shower, meet-up with gf for brunch, smart/not too smart talk + dumb mags
2.oo: back on fave couch for catnap
3.oo: meet up work-out buddy at gym. Whoa my eyes are happy too-
5.00: While I’m hungry (stomach that is), grocery shopping for what my body does best: show appetite (not just stomach wise- read on). Buy wine, red and white, since I’m cooking many courses and that I won’t plan them according to wine color.
6.oo: prepare delicious dinner while humming because obviously in good mood. Set aside. Call family to say Hi.
7.oo: dress up pretty for the sake of feeling pretty. go to movies/opera/play preferably alone/ try out Anal Sex Porn if previously challenged by some Blog-reader.
9.3o: invite Sexual partner over for previously prepared dinner since I have a heart
11.oo kick him out coz I need my space. Write emo stuff in diary about previous movie/opera/play/porn and how it changed my perception of life/or not while listening to jazz with hot chocolate+baileys in bathtub. Yup still alone. And no, no rose petals in the water. And no, no second girl. I’m writing, remember?- busy hands.
12.oo: continue writing/dozing off on couch with chocolate and Port + daily waste of time on the Internet
12.3o: call Sexual partner now that he is done digesting and has brushed his teeth/taken a shower/has napped. Politely offer a drink. Then do what we do best.
2.3o leave me alone dude, yes the movie/opera/play was life-changing, no I don’t wanna talk about it/ show you the new moves I learned from the porn. no I don’t wanna cuddle for another half-second, I wanna sleep. And if you HAVE to stay over, please brush your teeth and be gone before I wake up. Oh and no I don’t mind your presence. And no don’t take that as a heads-up to continue gazing at me like I’m the holder of the last female genitals on earth. Geeeez. Endorphins.
9.oo: wake up to find out that nice-boi got home. If last night’s business was whoa (which it obviously was, or else I wouldn’t have called in the first place) Call him back now that he has showered/brushed is teeth/changed his underwear. Offer breakfast since I have a heart.
10.3o: morning jog, alone.


Although yup, my day wouldn’t be the same if I didn’t know I have the option of calling for some good time with Sexual partner- who might get an upgrade and get called by his first name. I don’t have commitment issues, I just don’t do relationships. To me, relationships are a concept as alien and disconcerting as a colonoscopy. and It’s not coz I only have one pair of feet that I’ll only own one pair of shoes- know what I'm sayin?
To quote Woody Allen: ''Love is the answer- but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.'' and I certainly love to think-