Lust, Caution
Ang Lee’s Lust, Caution is the most powerful movie I have seen in a long time. To be direct; I don’t know what was wetter, my shirt sleeve (from crying) or my underwear.No but seriously, Ang Lee has a subtlety that makes everything sensual, as delicate as provocative in this controversial tale of wartime espionage. Lust, Caution is set in the early 1940s during the Sino-Japanese war, mostly in Japanese-occupied Shanghai. The heroine belongs to a university drama troupe plotting to assassinate a collaborator. Assigned to seduce the target, an official in the puppet government, she falls into an oh-so predictable-yet-addictive affair.
The politics are fascinating; the music is enveloping and delicate. Suspicion is enhanced by passion, and vice versa. Til this day I had never been scandalized and turned on at the same time. It made me feel like my sex life used to be a desert compared to this (and it’s not for lack of activity). And it made me remember I have a heart.
And no the movie is not all sex, the scenes might make only 5% of the time. But you remember them. The positions could not be worded, yet everything seemed natural and oh-so-worth of trying if only I could figure out where the legs went. Raw yet tender. The lovers seemed to know each other inside out yet seemed to be discovering something nirvanously new every time. It made me want to be the girl. It made me want to be the guy. I just so wanted to be part of it, not only the sexual part, but also the political activism, in place, in time. I wish I also had something to die for; country, love.
All I can say is, the movie made me want to act, and now. Yet I’m here writing.
Girls Are Totally Deeper
Memorable quotes from my girl friends
Ja: - Nah Jules, there’s no such thing as too much sex. But there IS such a thing as too much bad sex.
- I would never have known if he was well-endowed or not, I had nothing to compare The Thing to- but he just couldn’t stop complaining about it.
N: - I don’t want to become a doctor, I want to be a veterinarian. At least animals don’t pretend they’re monogamous.
- You should try older men.
G: Nice guys finish last.
L: whoooooa you’re friends with THE Sex-Symbol?
V: My advice is priceless. I used to be a nympho.
S: The difference between ‘just liking’ a guy and liiiiking a guy: you picture yourself having sex with him.
A: - Bed, Sleep? Not with my man. Na, we don’t do sleeping. I do Nutella though
C: - Boys are just something you don’t want to share. I never shared toys as a kid. Like, my lollipop belongs in own mouth. Know what I mean?
- I hate to see you cry. Get laid, do something!
- Don’t worry, you can’t be everybody’s type. I’m sure he’d do you if you paid him.
- Can you believe Boytoy and I went to the restaurant? I totally managed to keep my clothes on for the length of the whole dinner.
- Spring break, finally. I’ll manage to get some sex done.
K: I’m not really missing out on anything, am I?
Ip: I wish you were a guy
anyway, I so get bisexuality.
Some Guys Are Just Deep
Memorable quotes from my guy friends. What would I do without you?
F : a woman wearing underwear is sexier than naked; the suspense makes you want it more.
W: - nice guys finish last
- guys are all bananas (see previous post)
- one is good, two is great
- I can picture you with three breasts.
C: I have one-gina syndrome
A: - next one on to-do list: ‘une européenne’
- I don’t really know what a cute butt looks like.
V: - I don’t care if you put on weight, it’ll just make more of you. (yeah the guy was in love)
O: - It's totally obvious when girls wear padded bras.
J: - nah, clothes just don’t do you good.
- I’m stuck here with [penis’ private name] with nothing better to do than play Scrabble. We both miss you.
M: - Would you love me if I didn’t have a penis?
I'm laughing alone in front of my computer.
Much love
Public Apology
if you haven’t read my previous posts: in a few words, the sex has been… not happening because the partner’s instrument was not hard enough.
Hello BabyCarrot,
There is something you should know about me. Until 2008, I lived in a cucumber field. You know, where the stuff is hard on the outside, hard on the inside, always ready for appreciation (have you ever had a cucumber that doesn’t taste ready? I haven’t) and uhm, well, geometrically interesting. And then I met you, BabyCarrot. Or should I say BabyBanana? is there something softer than a banana?
A wise friend of mine enlightened me today-
W: Jules, cupcake, we’re all bananas. It takes more than a kiss to be ripe and ready.
J: Nah, Honey, I think you should only speak for yourself and all other (ethnicity that I won’t name)
W: Actually, cupcake, it’s probably because your cucumber plantation were all uh, what do you call them… (scratches his head) VIRGINS. Virgins get hard like… sitting on a bus.
J: Nooooo you did not just throw that in my face
And then W-the-wise informed me that I looked deliciously Tomato-like. And a lazy one at that. Fine, BabyCarrot/Banana-would-be-Eggplant-if-I-weren’t-so-lazy-and-impatient. I sincerely apologize, and rrrrrrr (scratch my head, nose, right ankle, look elsewhere) I miss you.
Looking forward to not being lazy with you,
J.
TOOTHED CONDOMS take a bite out of crime
Pros:
- available in all sizes
- costs just a little more than a regular condom
- the rapist cannot see that it is worn
- reduces the chances of a woman falling pregnant or contracting sexually transmitted diseases
- when the female wants to have sex, can be removed the same way it was applied: like a tampon
Cons:
- the rapist might still kill the victim, however, the pain down there should refrain to think of anything else
- can be used outside of real purpose; as a vengeance, say… against an ex-bf (no, this does not belong under pros)
Critics say the device is medieval, vengeful and barbaric-
I believe rapists should be identified, if not punished. "[It's] a medieval device for a medieval deed." And don’t give me the evolutionist argument that men are biologically engineered to spread the seed. I call it Your Right Hand, and use it.
For more info:http://www.rapestop.net/
Sex, Lies and Casper tapes
HEADLINE BOSTON GLOBE
Yale sophomore arraigned in case
How in the world we missed this story is beyond us. But more pertinently, how can anyone named CASPER be bad? Well you can judge for yourself, although our first impression at least from the photo and the initial storyline is "..much ado about nothing.." We are still trying to obtain HER side of the story, since the assumption is that she filed the compaint in the first place. How long before we see more copycat cases like this from those craving 15minutes of fame? YAWN..
NEW HAVEN, Conn. by Associated Press- A Yale sophomore is facing criminal charges, including voyeurism, after showing his four roommates a video of himself and his former girlfriend having sex, according to an arrest warrant.
Casper Desfeux, a Copenhagen native and sophomore who lived in Davenport dorm, told police he recorded the incident without the woman's knowledge using a camera on his Apple MacBook, according to the arrest warrant affidavit. The woman, who is also a Yale student, found out about the video from one of Desfeux's roommates, according to police.
Desfeux, 20, said he activated the camera because he just "wanted to see if it worked," according to police. Police say the woman brought the charges to prevent the sexually explicit video footage from being disseminated around the university or on the Internet.
Desfeux was arraigned yesterday in Superior Court on voyeurism and dissemination of voyeuristic materials, officials said.
"This is a misunderstanding involving two young college students," said his attorney, William Dow III. "There was absolutely no distribution of anything on the Internet. We're confident this will be resolved to the satisfaction of all parties."
Desfeux told Yale police he never sent the video to anyone because, at 45 minutes, it was too lengthy to process. He also said he did not make still photos from it. Yale police have seized the laptop, camera, and other items, which are being held until they can be delivered to the State Police forensic laboratory for examination, according to the affidavit.
and we thought Vanier was vanilla...
February 13, 2008 -- The kinky college professor who was almost strangled during an S&M session at a NewYork city club said yesterday he's deeply ashamed and is finally through with the double life he's lived since he was kid.
"I don't want this to spoil my marriage," said Robert Benjamin, 67, still disoriented from the three days he spent in a coma but sitting upright in a chair in his room at St. Vincent's Hospital.
"I don't want my wife to leave me, but I have to tell her the truth," he said. "I'm going to share everything with her. I think my family will forgive me,"
Benjamin said he's desperately trying to break his addiction.
"It's like when you crave a turkey," he said. "You eat it and you eat it and you eat it, but you still want it. But now I've had enough. I don't want turkey anymore. I'm full."
His life was saved last Friday by a dominatrix at the Nutcracker Suite on East 33rd Street, who was assigned to check on him after her colleague left him with a dog collar around his neck and a leather mask over his face, suspended a few inches off the floor.
She realized his foot was turning blue because one of his high heels had slipped off.
"I don't want to go to the clubs anymore," Benjamin said.
"I'm trying to learn to control myself and my emotions. I've seen doctors to help me," he said, adding that he's been unable to control his desires "from very early on in my life."
Benjamin managed to keep his shameful secret from his wife, his two kids, who are now adults, and the students he taught at Montreal's Vanier College until his recent retirement.
He never indulged his "dirty habit" in Montreal, where he fooled relatives, neighbors and colleagues into thinking he was a respectable family man who enjoyed outdoor activities.
Benjamin would make regular trips to New York where he'd stay at a "Y" and spend his time indoors. He'd tell his family he was cross-country skiing upstate, then visiting the city "to take photographs" and eat pizza at his favorite Italian restaurants in Brooklyn.
"My biggest fear has always been that someone would find out. That's why I come to New York and never do this in Montreal," he said.
Hours later, Benjamin's wife, Lynn, arrived at the hospital from Canada, but declined to comment. Benjamin, who came out of a coma Monday and is still recovering from his ordeal, struggled to remember numbers and dates, but guessed he's been married for "30 years or more."
He does not remember putting on the handcuffs, nipple clamps, dog collar, high-heel shoes or hood, vowing "I'm going to seek professional help to get over this dirty habit."
"The doctors told me I was passed out, but now I'm awake. They saved me, they gave me the confidence that I will be OK."
Benjamin attributes his recovery to his excellent physical health.
"I'm in really good shape," he said. "I bike, I ski, I take care of myself."
He vowed never again to risk his life during his retirement, saying he's relaxing, enjoying his time and "doing all the things I never had the chance to do.
"Now that I've almost died, I can't see myself going back to S&M," he said. "If you gave me $100,000 to spend there, I wouldn't. I'm not crazy."
Taki Noriko, the dominatrix who trussed up Benjamin and left him alone - as he'd requested - was relieved to hear of his recovery.
"Thank you," she said, with a long sigh. "Thank you very much for telling me."
Make Love Not War
The Magician
Most of my clients are just regular guys that are either unlucky in love or have partners that can't satisfy their every desire.
Some of these desires are sometimes out of the ordinary.
In comes the Magician. He comes into my chatroom and asks me to put on pants and high heels. I had never seen him around before. He has money in his account so I do as he says. He takes me to private show.
There, he asks me to zoom my webcam on my legs so that he can only see my legs from my knees to the tip of my heels. He tells me he's a magician and I'm his assistant. I'm in a box about to be sawed in half. He asks me to move my feet very quickly, as if I'm pressing the pedals in a car.
He goes on to describe a huge scenario: He cuts me in half, shows my two separate body parts to the audience. He has apprentices, with knives. They cut me into many little pieces. All the while I'm screaming "NO, STOP PLEASE.. DON'T CUT ME. AHHHH IT HURTS. HEEEEELP". He asks me to scream louder.
He's typing a lot so I doubt he's pleasuring himself.
The camera isn't on my face so I often start to laugh when he types something. I also feel a tad bit ridiculous having the entire studio hear me beg not to be cut into a million pieces by a chainsaw.
These shows last about 20 minutes and sometimes longer. He sometimes goes on to feed my pieces to outdoors parties of cannibals. I have to keep screaming and begging the cannibals not to eat me. He's tied me to a tree to cut me once. Last time, after the "magic show" he auctioned off my bottom half to the highest bidder, who was of course... a cannibal.
"PLEASE DON'T SELL ME TO THE CANNIBAL, PLEASE PUT ME BACK TOGETHER, AAAHHHH IT HUUUUUURTS, HEEEEELP"
Eventually, he won't type for a bit as I continue to kick my feet and scream. He will then type a thank you, see you later, you're the best at this then disconnect.
He's a repeat customer. Always the same theme, just slightly different scenarios.
I'd love to ask him the whys and the hows of this fantasy, maybe he's a sadist that likes to hear girls pretending to be tortured. Does he practice magic in real life? Does he cum from this? Usually the clients tell me when they're about to cum. Or right after. Or I see/hear it if they have a cam or mic.
So there you have it. He's a bit eccentric but the feet kicking in the air for 20minutes is a great ab workout. Who wouldn't mind getting paid to workout a bit?
Next time: my first girl-girl photo/video shoots!
Freeballing It
After Britney’s scandalicious vajayjay all’aperto episode, freeballing lost the classiness it once had (think Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct). No comment, except that I empathize with trying to avoid The VPL – Visible Panty Line.The origins of the word are open to speculation; some say it might refer to being "out in the open" or "ready for action." It might also be linked with the Scotish heritage of the kilt; the first Commando units were trained in Scotland during WWII. As for the British Forces, 'going commando' refers to not washing and lacking hygiene in general (well, more than usual guys do) as Royal Marine Commandos have a reputation when on duty.
Pros: avoids the VPL. Can be very comfortable if you don’t have the bladder of a 68-year-old. Although I doubt that it procures the same type of sexual liberation as the Burn Bras movement. Plus, according to my good friend Wiki, tight underwear decreases sperm count in men. I know you only need one to fill the oven, but don’t let it get to that point!
Cons: Opponents will state health issues - unfounded unless you wear a microskirt in the bus. Also, reasons like ‘If God had wanted men to 'go commando' he wouldn't have invented polycotton with two per cent lycra! When my zip broke once I was glad to have boxers on.' -Comedian Dave Gorman
Dude, I’m all for tighty whities, but I doubt you have enough clean underwear to last til Mom’s next laundry. And the fact that your zipper broke speaks of more urgent issues than the fabric/colour/tightness of your underwear. The mental picture of a guy in a suit going commando goes further for me. Further as in really far.
three things
First, there are no good reasons for a guy not to be hard enough for sex.
