Sex and the University ~ the blog

Sex has nothing to do with moderation -

Thinking there was no such thing as too much sex, I rented three movies. Tant qu’à le faire, on va le faire pour vrai! Turns out, there is such a thing as too much sex – bad sex. I chose the first movie on the basis that it was produced by a woman (there’s this myth that woman-produced porn is more enjoyable for women). Title: Sophia (read: nympho who calls herself a feminist). Isn't Sophia such a pornish name anyway? I bet I couldn't find even one that's titled Julie. Or even a character called Julie. Moving on: memorable pseudo-feministic quote I managed to write down before the F*-word-abusing starts: ‘‘I’m a woman in a man’s world, but I make the rules; men, women, sex, it’s all mine for the taking and I take it.’’ And the rest of the dialog is drowned with: ‘‘ooooh F*’s, don’t F*ing stop’s and ‘give me that F* cock’s’’ you get the point, and moaning. I thought I knew moaning, but now I know moaning. I thought presumably-dominant-Sophia was orgasming every second of the (long) way until she actually had an orgasm. Other wanabe-feministic sexual practices included: being splashed in the face with sperm and enjoying it like an insulin-deprived fat kid would feast on cake. Also included: savage-looking horse-riding extraordinarily-well-endowed and proportionally-sperm-producing unclean-looking latino, submissive secretary, submissive pool-girl, oh and a hold-your-breath-beginning-of-threesome which actually turns into some more sperm-splash. So much for woman-produced porn. Tip #1: keep your volume remote-control close – keep your fast-forwarding remote-control closer. F*!

Second movie’s title: Sexy Magical Girl. An anime/manga. A lot easier on the ears. Sailormoon meets Godzilla. In a rather… juicy way. The movie was a lot of fun, my friend and I laughed the whole time, so I guess it defeats the purpose of getting turned on. I recommend this type of porn to everyone, guaranteed good time. Sneak peaks: juice, breakfast sausages and teddy bears. Not too clichéd though.

Third movie: Fantasmes de femmes. Bad title. Tip #2: do not choose the movie according to the title. You think you know what you’re getting yourself into, but you’re not. Unless it’s as self-explanatory as ‘Pregnant Animals gone wild’ and then again, wild is a pretty vague word. I recommend this movie if what gets you off is fruits and pretty dresses, or clichés like ‘La première fois’. I would retitle it to ‘Fantasmes de Prudes’. Except for a scene involving a threesome. Handsome European-looking men, although I recognized the principal male actor as the latino from the very American Sophia. Versatile actor but same urge to fast-forward.

I refuse to settle down with Anime porn, which means the trial-an-error quest to enjoyable not-too-pornish porn only begins. Any suggestions?